Excerpt from an earlier journal entry:
Oh the life of a small town girl. So scared to go out on her own and find her way in a big city. Yes, I have the nerve, but I don’t like the feeling I get when I am stared at as I walk down the sidewalk, the only white person within 5 miles, then to be asked questions and talked to by people I would rather avoid. Yes, South Central Los Angeles. Hello.
My endeavor in the Notre Dame Volunteer AmeriCorps in Los Angeles is one that is definitely out of my comfort zone, and as a Midwestern small town girl, very far away from anything I have ever known. As I have been here for just over two months (now seven), I have learned a great deal about working with youth and teaching, as well as my own capabilities and passions. My experience thus far as a Teacher’s Aid/Academic Assistance Supervisor/Substitute Music Teacher at Saint Columbkille can be summed up as a road of self discovery through service with many challenges and rewards. A giving of myself as I have never given before – only to gain so much in return.
Monday, April 9, 2012
ThAnK yOu
Life finds me once again embracing this always changing, unpredictable phase of life. I have to be honest, it has not been a breeze. As a small town girl, making my way in the giant city of Los Angeles – living in a ghetto might I add, there are times when I ask myself “What the heck was I thinking coming here?” I do know that I was put here for a purpose – and that is becoming clearer as time goes on. As any other new phase, there are ups and there are downs. A huge thank you to all those who love me. I cannot thank my family and friends enough for being there through all of those times with me – and hanging in there while I make it through this. I would be nowhere close to where I am right now in my life if not for you. God has blessed and equipped me to handle each situation presented, with faith and support.
Genuine Love
As I walk down the open-air hallways in school, I am reminded of why it is that I find myself working with kids. Many smiles, and excited “Hi Ms. Schiebe!”s, that I can’t help but smile and laugh to myself. What makes me so special, that all these children think I am so wonderful? It’s as if I am some star or something that everyone wants to say hi to and run up and give a hug. One in class, one of my first graders raised her hand while I was teaching music, just to say “I love you” in her sweet little voice. Another day, one of my second graders came up to me and said, “Ms. Schiebe, I forgot to give you a hug yet today,” and he proceeded to give me a great big hug around my waist. It is these moments that fill me up. The times when I can just embrace them for the children they are; in all their sweetness and genuine love.
Friday, October 28, 2011
The Message on the Tea Bag
I forget that there are mountains surrounding LA sometimes. It rained a while back for the first time since I’ve been here, and for the next few days it was clear enough to see the mountains - so beautiful. I really do appreciate all that I have. I have so much freedom and so much ability to become anything. I simply need to pursue my passions and desires and make my way there.
I have discovered that I am not cut out for disciplining children, talking loudly over children all day long, trying to please everyone and be the fun person at the same time. I just know that it’s not for me. Yes, I love working with kids, and I love interacting with them, the relationships I can build, all of those things. I simply don’t like classroom management. I like the one-on-one or small group interaction. I have started giving private guitar and piano lessons, which I do enjoy.
Ah the beauty of California. I am doing my best to experience LA as cheaply as I can afford. The girls I live with and I are, despite our small budget, managing to have a great time here. We are getting used to our limited budget, and our crazy work schedules, and also how to gage our energy – as kids do take a lot out of me. I will admit, there are times when I really don’t know how much of this I can handle. The challenge of teaching, sometimes feeling belittled at work (as a volunteer), the wait and commute on busses whenever I want to go anywhere. To top that off, someone broke into the convent I am staying at.
I have figured out what keeps me going; at school: teaching guitar and piano lessons, in general: and making sure that I get out of south central every so often, to find my place of peace and comfort, and talking to family and friends. I do love teaching lessons, and am excited to start developing this more.
I have come to discover that if I don’t read the message on the tea bag when I put it into my mug, I may forget to read it. If I don’t live my life as I am called to right now, I may never get there.
This quote that a friend sent me one day, lifted my spirits a bit "I will get things done for America. Faced with Apathy, I will take action. Faced with conflict, I will seek common ground. Face with adversity, I will persevere. I will carry this commitment with me this year. I am an AmeriCorps Volunteer."
In the midst of all this uncertainty, I would like something certain, and something to hold onto that I can look forward to. I have discovered what has been weighing me down so much since I’ve come here. It is living among such mental poverty. Yes, the physical poverty is difficult to live and breathe among as well, but the mental is worse. The angst, anger, despair, hopelessness… that engulfs these people is so heartbreaking to me – I become dug into a hole that I can’t seem to get out of. I am tired of the stares, the cat calls, the honks, the aggression that I see. I miss: driving when/where I want, walking outside, having a back/front yard, family, close friends, a nice place to live, pets, clean air, cooking in a nice kitchen with nice utensils/supplies, going for runs outside, trees with leaves, fall colors, fireplaces… Those are just some of the things I do miss. Well, everything is a learning experience. This is one of many, and many more to come. I know that in a year I will look back on this and want it all back again. The Lord does put everything in my life for a reason – that reason I am still discovering. That is why I will carry on with my chin up, best face forward, and a smile on my face to take on everything that the world brings me with a lot of help from above.
I have discovered that I am not cut out for disciplining children, talking loudly over children all day long, trying to please everyone and be the fun person at the same time. I just know that it’s not for me. Yes, I love working with kids, and I love interacting with them, the relationships I can build, all of those things. I simply don’t like classroom management. I like the one-on-one or small group interaction. I have started giving private guitar and piano lessons, which I do enjoy.
Ah the beauty of California. I am doing my best to experience LA as cheaply as I can afford. The girls I live with and I are, despite our small budget, managing to have a great time here. We are getting used to our limited budget, and our crazy work schedules, and also how to gage our energy – as kids do take a lot out of me. I will admit, there are times when I really don’t know how much of this I can handle. The challenge of teaching, sometimes feeling belittled at work (as a volunteer), the wait and commute on busses whenever I want to go anywhere. To top that off, someone broke into the convent I am staying at.
I have figured out what keeps me going; at school: teaching guitar and piano lessons, in general: and making sure that I get out of south central every so often, to find my place of peace and comfort, and talking to family and friends. I do love teaching lessons, and am excited to start developing this more.
I have come to discover that if I don’t read the message on the tea bag when I put it into my mug, I may forget to read it. If I don’t live my life as I am called to right now, I may never get there.
This quote that a friend sent me one day, lifted my spirits a bit "I will get things done for America. Faced with Apathy, I will take action. Faced with conflict, I will seek common ground. Face with adversity, I will persevere. I will carry this commitment with me this year. I am an AmeriCorps Volunteer."
In the midst of all this uncertainty, I would like something certain, and something to hold onto that I can look forward to. I have discovered what has been weighing me down so much since I’ve come here. It is living among such mental poverty. Yes, the physical poverty is difficult to live and breathe among as well, but the mental is worse. The angst, anger, despair, hopelessness… that engulfs these people is so heartbreaking to me – I become dug into a hole that I can’t seem to get out of. I am tired of the stares, the cat calls, the honks, the aggression that I see. I miss: driving when/where I want, walking outside, having a back/front yard, family, close friends, a nice place to live, pets, clean air, cooking in a nice kitchen with nice utensils/supplies, going for runs outside, trees with leaves, fall colors, fireplaces… Those are just some of the things I do miss. Well, everything is a learning experience. This is one of many, and many more to come. I know that in a year I will look back on this and want it all back again. The Lord does put everything in my life for a reason – that reason I am still discovering. That is why I will carry on with my chin up, best face forward, and a smile on my face to take on everything that the world brings me with a lot of help from above.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
To Long, and To Belong
"The art of longing and the art of belonging must be experienced in life." The quote I read on my yogi tea bag the other day, really sums up how I have been feeling lately. Adjusting to a brand new lifestyle takes time, patience, and an open mind. As well as a whole lot of learning - about myself, and my surroundings. Life is treating me pretty well in LA. I am now 3 weeks into the program, and each day I work with the kids I learn to love them more and more. There are about 270 kids at my school, so I have yet to learn so many more names! The pressure is on, because I have now moved up to the teacher role, as I have taken on teaching music classes two days a week to all of the kids. That makes for about 5 classes a day that I teach on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I also lead music at Mass, which they have biweekly.
It is amazing how once the kids saw me with a guitar, heard me play and sing, how their love for me increased even more. Now instead of only the kids from the 3 classes that I worked with during the day, and the 50 or so kids I worked with after school, now everyone says to me as they pass "Hi Ms. Schiebe!" very enthusiastically with a grin on their face. The younger ones to greet me with a hug and once in a while I will get an "I love you." They make my heart melt. Yes, they are trying on patience, and make my voice hurt by the end of the day from trying to get their attention and keep them under control; but they are so loveable. I give teachers so much credit for what they do - it's a crazy hard job! Very rewarding though.
Little by little I am trying to explore the LA area - and soak it all in, as well as finding my nich in where I am at and what I do. I have now checked out the LA public library downtown, which is absolutely wonderful; I have tried the froyo at Yogurtland; embraced the ocean-front on the Santa Monica Beach; been to the "Abbey" in West Hollywood, learned how not on time the bussing system is; taken the time to cook; bought fresh produce at the Grand Central Market downtown LA; learned how to handle lots of kids of all ages; made some wonderful new friends; and more.
A whirlwind of new places, people, sights, sounds, smells, and emotions have all hit me at once - and it will continue to take time to process them all. The story is beginning to unfold as I put peices together of why God has called me to this specific place to work with these specific people. Though I am out of my comfort zone as the minirity, and as the "newbie," which is intimidating; I do know that things will fall into place - with faith and trust.
It is amazing how once the kids saw me with a guitar, heard me play and sing, how their love for me increased even more. Now instead of only the kids from the 3 classes that I worked with during the day, and the 50 or so kids I worked with after school, now everyone says to me as they pass "Hi Ms. Schiebe!" very enthusiastically with a grin on their face. The younger ones to greet me with a hug and once in a while I will get an "I love you." They make my heart melt. Yes, they are trying on patience, and make my voice hurt by the end of the day from trying to get their attention and keep them under control; but they are so loveable. I give teachers so much credit for what they do - it's a crazy hard job! Very rewarding though.
Little by little I am trying to explore the LA area - and soak it all in, as well as finding my nich in where I am at and what I do. I have now checked out the LA public library downtown, which is absolutely wonderful; I have tried the froyo at Yogurtland; embraced the ocean-front on the Santa Monica Beach; been to the "Abbey" in West Hollywood, learned how not on time the bussing system is; taken the time to cook; bought fresh produce at the Grand Central Market downtown LA; learned how to handle lots of kids of all ages; made some wonderful new friends; and more.
A whirlwind of new places, people, sights, sounds, smells, and emotions have all hit me at once - and it will continue to take time to process them all. The story is beginning to unfold as I put peices together of why God has called me to this specific place to work with these specific people. Though I am out of my comfort zone as the minirity, and as the "newbie," which is intimidating; I do know that things will fall into place - with faith and trust.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Learning My Way
Well I have survived my first six days in Los Angeles. We had two days of orientation for my program. This city is so full of life and excitement; I know I will never get bored. There is always something to see or experience. Everyone in my program seems fantastic! The cool part is that we all seem to be here with the same mindset – not to change the world, but to learn and see how we can help those we live around and we serve at our sites to better their program and continue the work that they do. We are all here to learn and grow, and we are excited to begin this journey together. And this is just the beginning of my journey. I know this year will present a lot of challenges and a lot of rewards.
So far we have taken the Dash (the public bus system), been out to lunch at Chipotle near South California University, Toured the Science Center in Exposition Park, ate at a Mexican restaurant, had a panel and cookout with the alum NDMVA members, visited a few of our volunteer sites, filled out a ton of paperwork, visited a few of our volunteer sites, survived a day of work, took a trip to the beach, visited the galleria market in Koreatown, and made some homemade sushi and pot stickers, gotten to know my housemates, and gone to a Spanish Mass.
I am constantly thinking of the movie 101 Dalmations. The dogs here are crazy – one starts barking, then they all do. One will howl, and so do the rest! During the night a lot as well I will add. I’m getting used to it, and actually learning to love it. I am reminded of the cats that would hang out on our roofs in Guatemala and meow all night.
Transportation is the tricky part that I am still figuring out. Having no car makes things much more difficult. Though I feel very independent. There are no classes I need to attend, homework I need to do, people I need to take care of, it’s just me – fending for myself in this giant city.
I survived my first day at work! This is going to be exhausting work. I thought working with middle and high school students all summer was draining (well, it was; and elementary is another story) I was basically thrown into the school, told briefly what I was expected to do, then went and did it. No schedule or specific direction.
St. Columbkille is a private, Catholic school in South Central LA, with a student population that is almost all Hispanic. The kids are very well-behaved, and the structure is unique (rules, expectations, etc are all going to take a while to master). I do feel needed there ,and I will most definitely be busy every day. In one day, I was involved in all of the following: 1st grade TA, 1st grade recess, 7th grade recess, 3rd grade TA, 1st grade lunch duty, 7th grade lunch duty, and an after school tutor. A deep breath every now and then kept me going. Not to mention trying to learn names and get to know students and teachers, as well as the rules and expectations. It’s going to take a while, but I have confidence I will soon become more comfortable there; among the students and faculty, and gradually ease into my “place” at St. Columbkille.
So far we have taken the Dash (the public bus system), been out to lunch at Chipotle near South California University, Toured the Science Center in Exposition Park, ate at a Mexican restaurant, had a panel and cookout with the alum NDMVA members, visited a few of our volunteer sites, filled out a ton of paperwork, visited a few of our volunteer sites, survived a day of work, took a trip to the beach, visited the galleria market in Koreatown, and made some homemade sushi and pot stickers, gotten to know my housemates, and gone to a Spanish Mass.
I am constantly thinking of the movie 101 Dalmations. The dogs here are crazy – one starts barking, then they all do. One will howl, and so do the rest! During the night a lot as well I will add. I’m getting used to it, and actually learning to love it. I am reminded of the cats that would hang out on our roofs in Guatemala and meow all night.
Transportation is the tricky part that I am still figuring out. Having no car makes things much more difficult. Though I feel very independent. There are no classes I need to attend, homework I need to do, people I need to take care of, it’s just me – fending for myself in this giant city.
I survived my first day at work! This is going to be exhausting work. I thought working with middle and high school students all summer was draining (well, it was; and elementary is another story) I was basically thrown into the school, told briefly what I was expected to do, then went and did it. No schedule or specific direction.
St. Columbkille is a private, Catholic school in South Central LA, with a student population that is almost all Hispanic. The kids are very well-behaved, and the structure is unique (rules, expectations, etc are all going to take a while to master). I do feel needed there ,and I will most definitely be busy every day. In one day, I was involved in all of the following: 1st grade TA, 1st grade recess, 7th grade recess, 3rd grade TA, 1st grade lunch duty, 7th grade lunch duty, and an after school tutor. A deep breath every now and then kept me going. Not to mention trying to learn names and get to know students and teachers, as well as the rules and expectations. It’s going to take a while, but I have confidence I will soon become more comfortable there; among the students and faculty, and gradually ease into my “place” at St. Columbkille.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Freebird
From one adventure to the next – I am ready to hop into my AmeriCorps position in Los Angeles. Everything finished up very well in Rutland, though the goodbyes were hard. YouthWorks put on an exit session for us back in Delaware for two days, then we were done! It was such a crazy feeling to be done with my commitment as Site Director. I felt as though I was a free-bird and ready to fly! I finished up my time on the East Coast with a visit to NYC to see my cousin, then to Boston to visit my aunt and uncle who then took me to Cape Cod. Not a better way to finish up a summer in the East!
All of my experiences this summer have challenged, molded, and shaped me into the person and leader that I now am. Yes, it was hard work filled with many questions and mistakes; but through all of that God was faithful, and I was grown and stretched beyond what I had ever imagined in my life. As I continue to process all of the ways that I have changed and grown this summer, I truly hope that there is not one thing I will forget about my incredible experience with YouthWorks. I will keep loving the community of Rutland, I will keep loving my team and all of those YouthWorks staff people I grew close to, and I will keep loving all of those whom I am surrounded by – in my community right where I am at.
I am now continuing in service and am now going to the other side of the US: the west coast. I will be serving with the Notre Dame Mission Volunteer AmeriCorps program for 11 months in South Central Los Angeles. I will be working as a teacher's aide and tutor for a private K-8 school. I will be living in community housing with some of the other AmeriCorps volunteers. I am both nervous and excited for this new opportunity. I know that God has called me there, so I am willing and ready to go with an open heart and open mind.
All of my experiences this summer have challenged, molded, and shaped me into the person and leader that I now am. Yes, it was hard work filled with many questions and mistakes; but through all of that God was faithful, and I was grown and stretched beyond what I had ever imagined in my life. As I continue to process all of the ways that I have changed and grown this summer, I truly hope that there is not one thing I will forget about my incredible experience with YouthWorks. I will keep loving the community of Rutland, I will keep loving my team and all of those YouthWorks staff people I grew close to, and I will keep loving all of those whom I am surrounded by – in my community right where I am at.
I am now continuing in service and am now going to the other side of the US: the west coast. I will be serving with the Notre Dame Mission Volunteer AmeriCorps program for 11 months in South Central Los Angeles. I will be working as a teacher's aide and tutor for a private K-8 school. I will be living in community housing with some of the other AmeriCorps volunteers. I am both nervous and excited for this new opportunity. I know that God has called me there, so I am willing and ready to go with an open heart and open mind.
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